Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Death to SPAM!

I know of only two types of spam, and I dislike them both. One type of Spam, while not invasive and maddeningly irritating, is comprised of unknown salty meat products that are completely unidentifiable to the naked eye. No one can convince me that the quasi-cylindrically shaped Spam does not contain products of unknown - possibly of alien origin. Really, folks, how many types of meat do you know of that consistently retains the shape of the metal container it's shipped in when it slides out into the open? And it's so incredibly salty that I'm pretty sure the meat itself is used as nothing more than a conveyor to transport salt.

There are many recipes out there involving the use of Spam. This, in my humble opinion, is an attempt to make something quite repelling seem more appetizing by adding things to it that are not Spam. Ironic, isn't it? Make Spam more appealing by making it taste less like Spam.

The other more malignant and virulent type of SPAM is the electronic type that arrives via your email or other modes of electronic communication. This type of SPAM, while devoid of any nutritional content, can wreck havoc on any device - more than likely your computer - with malicious and destructive viruses. Some of you folks reading this have fallen victims to these seemingly innocuous messages of financial success, love affirmations, and Oprah endorsements. Below are a few of the spam messages that invade my Gmail account everyday. I DO NOT know who they are, what they peddle, how safe their web origin is, or anything about them. I wish they knew nothing about me.

Beauty Secrets for Dating Orphans
Oprah's World
Some guy named "Mark"
Colon Cure
Colon Cleanse

What is it with these spammers and the colon? I suppose when you are full of, well, you know what, all things related to BS are a source of interest.

How did these people (spammers) get my email address? I don't visit their websites or other sites affiliated with them. I don't give out my email address to anyone, even though it is posted on the "Profile Page" of my blog. Perhaps I should remove it.

I guess the purpose of this post is to ask what happened to the legislation that was once circulating in congress to eliminate unsolicited spam? Didn't most of us take advantage of the "Do Not Call" registry to deflect the disrupting telemarketers from calling while you were having dinner with your wife and kids?


ukok said...

I too detest spam of both varieties.

The horrid thing about email spam though is that sometimes genuine emails get stuck in the spam box and in order to retrieve them I have no option but to endure sifting through email titles about increasing the size of mens genitalia (with between 60-150 per day about 'that' alone). So frankly chuck, I'll swap you your 'colon spam' for that crude stuff that fills my inbox, any day!

Ugh and as for 'meat' spam....oh gosh, the smell of it just makes we want to vomit.

When i was in primary (little) school...on the walk there i could smell that we would be having spam 'fritters' for lunch...I hated school anyay, but my heart sank even more so on those days. Spam fritters, well these were slabs of spam that were covered in batter mixtures and then deep fried (accentuating the foul greasy, abatoirish smell)...oh my, I feel sickly just recalling that.


Shirley said...

I was getting spam in my blog com box until I put in word verification, then it stopped. Now I get spam from other bloggers who embed a link in their comment-which is usually a word or two then a request to check out their blog. I like the Reject option!

Thom said...

Your email spam is a lot tamer than mine!

(And I LOVE the real Spam. Spam sandwiches. Fried Spam. Spam and eggs. Mmmmmm. Which totally goes against my organic philosophy, but so be it.)

Jennifer said...

Colon cleanse...that's what I need. How come I don't get that spam...I usually get stuff about making it bigger. Right...I'd have to take ALOT of that stuff. :P

Katie Alender said...

Yes, remove your email address... or disguise it with spelled-out "at" and "dot". Spam trollers search the internet for anything resembling an email address and add it to their lists.

Tom in Vegas said...


We are kindred souls in the war on spam- both types. As far as the edible spam: Yuckiddy-yuck-yuck-yuck! The things you had to endure would have sent me to straight unto the shrinks's sofa:0)

And the electronic spam you're getting is just as offensive as the edible kind, I might add. Imagine the kids who have access to email accounts!!


I think I'm going to eventually activate the word verification on my blog. It's something Ive been thinking about for a while now and it's quickly becoming a very appealing solution to unwanted remarks.


You are a brave man, my friend. But your love of spam makes us enemies. LOL! (just kidding, of coarse).


Can you believe the sick puppies sending this stuff?


As always, great advice! I would have never thought about doing that. Thank you!!

Terry Nelson said...

"How did these people (spammers) get my email address?"


Terry Nelson said...

I forgot to ask, what kind of colon? I used to wear colon all the time - now, not so much.

ROFLOL! I crack myself up.

Tom in Vegas said...


You crack me up, too!! LOL!

Adrienne said...

I'm with Thom. Fried Spam sandwiches are the best. But.......it must be done properly. Sliced very, very thin and fried very, very crisply. Bread must be the soft yukkey white kind (like Wonder), lots of mayo, and iceburg lettuce.
Nutrition of any kind is not allowed to enter into the equation.

Terry -- very, very funny. Ha, ha, ha!!!

Tracy said...

I agree... spam must go!!

paramedicgirl said...

That's funny, i was about to do a post on spam....I have been getting a lot of email spam lately. it's from people in third world countries who can't spell correctly, and pretend to have massive sums of $$$ to dish out if only i would be gullible enough to send them my personal & banking info. Idiots.