The Centers for Disease Control issued a warning via all media outlets this morning for a highly contagious (airborne) pathogen. It operates similarly to the SARS virus, but with potentially immediate consequences upon infection. Please read the following.
Ballistic Organ Syndrome (Ballistitis)
Country of Origin
First Known Case
Ballistic Organ Syndrome, although rare, has been known since prehistoric times. In Australia and Micronesia, cave paintings have been found depicting humans and animals with internal organs erupting from their bodies.
Ballistic Organ Syndrome manifests as a sudden, explosive discharge of one or more bodily organs at high velocity; this exit may be accompanied by some pain. There are two known variants: subsonic Ballistitis, in which the organ exists the body by the path of least resistance, breaking free directly through muscle, tendon, bone and skin tissue.
Supersonic Ballistitis is the more dangerous manifestation, as the ejecta exceed the speed of sound and therefore strike without warning. Surprisingly, however, the high energy of supersonic Ballistitis discharge cauterizes the surface of the organ and sterilizes the ejected bodily contents, so that the overall risk of infection is less than that of subsonic Ballistitis. In rare cases, the Ballistitis virus infects the patients entire body. Eventually, some event causes one or more cells to rupture, after which the patients body is disrupted in an explosive ejection of all bodily organs. This manifestation of the syndrome frequently occasions the death of the patient; at best, the loss of all bodily organs will cause considerable inconvenience and distress.
The Ballistitis is known to be caused by a retrovirus that reprograms body cells to concentrate water at extremely high pressures. It may be transmitted through direct contact with organic ejecta or through inhalation of atomized bodily content. Medical personnel dealing with infected patients are strongly recommended to seek the advice of military fortification engineers to assist in deploying sandbagging, and overhead protection, as ejected organs can travel a considerable distance and explode with some force on impact.