I wonder how histories greatest mystics wrestled with their doubts, and what type of doubts those were. Some, by most accounts, had their faith as the single most valued element in their lives that also remained constant and undiminished. Was Chardin ever in any distress over what the science of his time told him about the Maker he served? No. Did Merton, with his gradual entry into monastic life, ever wonder if he was deceiving himself by not asking more questions? No. On the other hand, some of these spiritual masters did wrestle with doubts and uncertainties that in the end only made them stronger and more devout.
Is this what some of us are going through?